Remaining hopeful

I know, it’s been a while, a long while since we posted anything. The last six weeks or so, it has been really hard to think about our quest to reduce expenses to buy a second home. As the economy continued to tank, and layoff rumors increased, I couldn’t help but wonder how all of this affected 18MTTC, but I also couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. I kind of felt like it was obvious – who’s saving for a second home in this economy? Yesterday brought a little more clarity to our situation, but not as much as you’d think.

Bryan was laid off yesterday. It could have been me. It could have been both of us. It was him. It was a horrible day at the office, filled with tears and uncertainty as emails flew around the firm announcing those who were “GONE.” The cuts were deeper and hit closer to home than any of us expected. So many great people that we have to say good-bye to – namely Bryan. It is such a shame that someone who loved their job as much as Bryan did, and was as good at it as Bryan is, is forced out due to desperate economic times. There are two bright spots.

1. Bryan heard from so, so many people at the firm that he was so valued and that this was the wrong decision. This only helped confirm what we already knew, that it wasn’t performance related and that Bryan had made quite the impression in just 6 months. So many people said, “You’ll be back.” We hope so.
2. True to the values of the firm, they treated separated employees very well in terms of severance. We are very, very fortunate for that. With the next six weeks being the holidays – no one is hiring during the holidays, even in a good economy – and of course the state of our economy, we’re not expecting Bryan to accomplish much till after the new year. Fortunately, because of the generosity of his severance – and my ability to bring home the bacon, he can take the time to find the right job for him. We hardly have a money tree in the back yard, but we are so much more fortunate than many others losing their jobs right now, and for that we are so grateful.

So with all that said, we’re not packing it in and calling it quits on 18MTTC. Sure, lots of other things will take priority, but oddly enough (or I guess I should say thankfully enough), after a shake-up like this, we always seem to end up in a better place. We’ll be praying that’s the case this time too. And depending on the success of Bryan’s job search, we may have an opportunity to save some of the severance package. That could be an added bonus to our Cape house savings. We’re certainly not counting on that, but you just never know.

It almost feels wrong just saying that when you know that so many people aren’t getting a severance and struggling to put food on their tables, but you’ve got to remain hopeful – for yourself, for everyone. Just this past weekend, Bryan taught the boys a valuable lesson in helping those with less than we are fortunate to have. At mass on Sunday, they announced the need to restock the community food pantry for the holiday season. This year will clearly be even tougher than in the past. Bryan took the boys right from church (I had a commitment and couldn’t join them) to the grocery store and filled a carriage with food just for the pantry. And then they went right from the grocery store to the food pantry to drop it off. The director of the food pantry explained the set-up of the facility to the boys and how what they were doing was helping lots of people. It really made an impression on them.

Last night, as we explained Bryan’s layoff to the boys, we made sure to emphasize to them that we were going to be ok and they weren’t going to have to worry about having food to eat, as this came on the heels of their charitable donation which was fresh in their minds. We told them that we’re very lucky that Daddy’s company is taking good care of us till he can find another job, and emphasized that most people who get laid off aren’t that lucky. Noah, the insightful, sensitive child asked, “Are you worried Dad?” Bryan said, “No, I’m not worried.” To which Noah replied, “Good, because if you were worried, it would mean that you don’t have enough trust and faith.” I am so happy and proud to be witness to that kind of thinking from my 7 year-old son.

Cape house or no Cape house, we’re living a good life. A damn good life.

Having enough...and sharing what you have

Wow, what a depressing time. Amazing what two weeks can do.

These days, everywhere I turn, I’m reminded of the sinking economy and the financial stresses that people are feeling. It’s made me very aware that at this exact moment in time, we should be most thankful that Bryan and I both have jobs with good salaries and we’re able to support our family. While we won’t give up on our Cape dream, in these crazy times, who knows if we’ll make it in 18 months. But in times like these, it does refocus you on what’s most important. The changes we’ve been making in spending over the past few months are really helping us brace for the impact of all of this financial strain. We’re all healthy and have more than enough in our lives to live very happily. I hope the situation makes everyone reprioritize and realize how lucky we are and how we can reach out to lend a hand to those who aren’t.

In the past week, I’ve seen 3 people I know, teachers, working a second job to make ends meet. This absolutely breaks my heart as I know that they all have families that I’m sure they’d much rather be home with. They aren’t working a second job jus for the fun of it. And to top it all off, their primary jobs are teachers – a most noble career. One that has much more of an impact on our society and future than anything I’ll do in my career. Suddenly, the second home does seem as important. But I also want to say that dreaming, or having a goal, doesn’t make you a bad or greedy person. Attainment of our goal will bring joy and happiness to us, but we fully intend to share that joy and happiness. We want as many as possible to benefit from our success, and hopefully we’ll have the chance to share it.

I suppose it’s because I work in the financial industry that there is so much daily swirl in my mind about the economy. I mean it is everywhere right now, but I’m talking about it constantly being on my mind. Not an hour goes by that I don’t overhear someone talking about what the market is doing. Last week I found myself literally sitting at my desk, refreshing my screen to see the Dow go down, down, down. Before this I paid little to no attention to the Dow and couldn’t tell you if it was up, down or sideways. I’m learning a lot and it has been interesting.

So despite a rebound for a day, or a week (wouldn’t that be nice), the outlook for the near future is not great. I’m no economist, just going with what I’m hearing from the smart people around me.

Everyone wants to know these days – what does this mean to me? Here’s what it means to us…not just financially, but from a lifestyle/family priorities standpoint.

• There’s one upside to not having a lot of investments – not as much to lose. Yes, we’ve seen our 401ks tank, but being that those are long-term investments, we’re not touching them and assuming we’ll rebound eventually.
• Continue to eliminate unnecessary spending.
• Maintain a cash nest egg. We’re contemplating temporarily slowing down our 401k contributions to keep more in savings for the time being, should one of us lose a job, or worse, both of us.
• Be really practical this Christmas. We always start out sticking to our budget when it comes to gifts for the boys, but once we wrap it all and try it out under the tree, we decide its not enough and hit the stores again. No going back this year! We can all do with a little less.
• Get more involved with those who need our help. It’s really hard to find a down side to volunteering your time, but there are countless upsides. More time spent volunteering = less time spent spending money. More time spent volunteering = more lives touched in ways that our jobs don’t allow us to do.

I think that this holiday season will be a great time to talk to the boys about a lot of things – thankfulness, sharing and caring for those less fortunate, doing more with less, volunteerism, and getting creative. I feel as though I’ve been summoned – called into action – to protect my family during this time and do our part in the community around us. We’ll keep sharing and hopefully God will keep filling our basket.

18MTTC - we're all doing it

It's just part of our vernacular now. We say it all the time. "18 months to the Cape". We say it so much, that I really believe it. Which is good. You should believe in your goals. Bryan and I will be talking about doing something or see an ad for something that's really cool and comment on how great it would be but then look at each other and say, "18 months to the Cape." It has definitely haulted the thought process on several purchases and keeps the iniative top of mind. Even the boys will say it, which is pretty cool. I think that this is the first time we've set a goal that we could all work on as a family.

The boys are really into recycling. They've learned about it at school and we practice it pretty religiously at home, so they're on board. The particularly like recycling cans and bottles that have a deposit. We keep them separate from the other recyclables and when there's a good amount of them, my mom will take the boys to cash them in. The money then goes into a special jar in our dining room. This past spring, they were saving for special activities that they wanted to do this summer. Trips down to the beach with my mom and dad would typically include ice cream, mini golf and a few fun rides. They decided to save for this themselves and they did. I think they saved around $30 which was in turn all spent on them. Not that they wouldn't have been able to do those things anyway, but I think it's a good lesson to teach them that saving for something can pay off. So now, they're saving their money for the Cape, in a way.

They both really want a Wii system. I'm pretty strongly against it. Not the Wii itself, I think it's awesome. I'm just against it because I think that they have enough electronic gaming options between the computer and their Nintendo DS handhelds. As it is with just those options, it is certainly their activity of choice in their free time and we've had to establish limits or else it would be all they do. What does this have to do with the Cape? Much like Bryan and I are paying of debt and saving for the house, I wanted to give the boys an attainable goal related to the Cape, and I wanted it to be something that they would be excited about and work as hard at it as we are at the house. I suggested to them that they save their recycling money for a Wii that we would keep at the Cape. That way, it would be preserved as something special. Something that they could get excited about related to the Cape - their contribution to the effort. who knows if the Wii will still be the IT toy in 18 months, but at least they've got a goal and they're working towards it.

Give a listen

Two more free songs from Vanity Fair...

Geraldine by Glasvegas
All the Umbellas in London by the Magnetic Fields

What’s been fun for me is that not only are these songs free, they’ve been music that I’ve not heard before, which is a bonus to be introduced to something new.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/culture/2008/10/01/lisa-robinsons-hot-tracks-free-mp3s-2.html#entry-more

A weekend away on a budget - sort of

A few weekends ago we were at the US Open and in Manhattan. We had bought tickets to take the boys to their first US Open a few months ago, so it was a trip that we wanted to keep on our schedule. So we planned that last weekend would eat up the majority of our spending money for September. And it did. We ended up spending about $1,000 on the weekend between food, cabs, parking, etc. Could we have done it even cheaper - sure. But for us, compared to how we would have "spent" a weekend in NY formerly, we made some good changes.

I did a lot of research before our trip for inexpensive things we could do in the city, so we didn't really spend money on attractions or shopping. We went to a free museum - the Sony Wonder Technology Lab. It was a bust as 2 of the 3 floors were closed, but the boys had a good time with the few exhibits that were open, so I guess that's all that matters. We window shopped (from the inside) at FAO Schwartz and the huge Toys R Us in Times Square. That's always fun. It was much less crowded than the last time we were there in December of '06. So it was nice to actually be able to walk around and play with some of the toys on display. We allowed the boys to each pick out one small toy as a treat for their trip to NY. It worked out fine. We talked to them a lot about not spending money while we were there and I think that made them appreciate more what they did and the one gift that they got.


I will admit to breaking down and making one purchase myself, of a skirt and top (on sale of course) but this was from my $100 miscellaneous monthly spending money, so no harm done.

Most fortunate for us, we had a place to stay in the city. Jon and Danielle were in CT for the weekend visiting Baby Luke, so they graciously offered us their place as our home base for the weekend. Having a place to just "hang" and relax was so great and with an incredibly rainy day on Saturday, having the Wii as entertainment to fall back on was a godsend.


Bryan and I had talked about wanting to take the boys to see the Statue of Liberty. We were going to do it but it the boys were really tired by Sunday morning (once the rain stopped) and it there is a cost to take the ferry over to the statue, not to mention lots of steps to climb once you get inside. I had also read, during my NY on the cheap research, that you get amazing views of the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island ferry, which you can ride for free. No stairs to climb, free, and we'd still get to show the kids the Statue. It worked out great. The enjoyed the ferry ride. We'll definitely go back to the Statue on a future trip when their little legs are just a little big longer.

So packed back into the car and heading home, we weren't surrounded by shopping bags filled with fun new purchases. No retail therapy, but we survived it and had a great time. The boys definitely had a very memorable weekend and that is what I wanted to give them.

Am I changing as a person? will it hurt? will it last?

Yesterday I was in a pretty depressed mood. I couldn't figure out how to get out of my funk. I decided to step away from my desk and take a little walk. I was in Boston for the day, so outside my door there were stores and eateries galore. I'd go for a walk and see what tempted me.

Typically, when feeling down, I would turn to shopping or food. I've been so good lately, a little shopping trip couldn't hurt, right? So into TJMaxx I rolled. I browsed shoes, accessories, pants, books and seasonal items. I saw a few things that I liked, I just couldn't pull the trigger. I stood there staring at the pair of shoes in my hand and just knew that purchasing those shoes wasn't going to leave me feeling any better. HOW COULD THIS BE???? Am I no longer a living, breathing female human being??? My inner dialogue went something like this...

I’m feeling depressed today because I’m really overtired. I don’t really want to be in Boston because the effort that takes made me more tired. The thought of carrying these shoes home makes me more tired. Ok, I really mustn’t want these shoes if prospect of owning them makes me tired. Walk out of TJMaxx. You don’t really want to buy anything.

What do I want right now? I want to be home. The comfort of my bed sounds good. A hug from one of the boys would be good. Reading my book would be nice. Wow, all things I don’t have to buy. But wait, there must be something. I must be able to purchase SOMETHING that will improve my mood. Maybe a cookie? Cookies usually make me happy. (Not as happy as a cupcake, but cupcakes are hard to find.) I’m passing places to buy cookies. Ok, I’ll stop into Starbucks. The cookies look nice. Actually the donuts look really nice. But I’m actually not hungry. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

Ok, one last chance, the final test…If I could buy anything in the world right now to make myself feel better, what would it be?
Think Jen.
Think hard.
Damnit.
I actually can’t think of anything.

I don't quite understand what happened yesterday. I don't know if it'll happen again, but I experienced a deep awareness that spending money (and eating a cookie) doesn't necessarily make me happy. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it does, but in this instance, I was clearly able to identify that spending money wasn't going to do it for me and stop the process before it happened. I feel pretty happy about that, as does our bank account.

Trying to remedy that bad mood would have typically cost between $40-$100 in retail therapy.

Riding out the mood, getting hugs at home from the most important people in my life, and curling up in my bed for a good night's sleep = FREE.

Saving can still be cool.

I received our electric bill in the mail on Friday. See previous post on trying to conserve electricity.

August 07 - $275
August 08 - $158

It's working. I looked like a freak walking out of BJ's this weekend with enough CFL bulbs to light Time's Square on New Years Eve in the hopes to further increase our electrically charged savings, but hey...all for the Cape. I am willing to look like an idiot sometimes (no comments from the peanut gallery please).

Food and 18MTTC

It's very easy to go the grocery store nowadays and easily drop $150 a week. Feeding 4 people 3 times a day costs $$. And with the rise in food prices it is only going to get worse. And that is a lot cheaper than buying lunch out everyday.

We like to make a "menu" on Sunday's so we know what we are having for the week for dinner. It's our way of trying new recipes, making life less hectic when we get home from work and allows me to practice a hobby of mine. So it works for many reasons. But since 18MTTC, we have been really good about only buying what we need for the week. We have also been trying to use up what we already have in the freezer and cupboards. How old is that bag of basamati rice in the pantry? So the fridge may not look as full as it always did, but none of us have really noticed too much or made the observation that "there isn't enough food". I also want to add here that we went to BJ's and stocked up on bulk items a few weeks ago (juice boxes, pretzels, applesauce, paper towels, etc) so that we always have that stuff on hand. although we don't eat the paper towels. Note to BJ's - explain to me WHY, WHY, WHY can't you carry Brown Sugar Pop Tarts in bulk?

But I tried something new this week. Jen was going to be in Texas for 3 days this week for work. We normally do the grocery shopping on Sunday and the menu plan only goes through Thursday (Friday is usually dinner with friends at their house or ours and gets a special menu we shop for that day). So I decided with Jen away, I wasn't going to go grocery shopping this week. I figured we could get by with what we had and I would essentially save us $150 for the week. Well, we ran out of ice cream for Owen on Tuesday (they each have their fav flavor and get a small scoop before bed every night). He had applesauce instead. See, no worries. And I have to say, that really was the only issue the whole week. Also, I spent $7 on a pizza for the boy's on Monday night.

Last night I stopped at the grocery store to pick up juice boxes, veggies for tonight's dinner at our friend's house (asparagus) , ice cream (B1G1F), hot dogs for the boys dinner and some green onions for a gratin I was making. Cost me $24.

So I think my experiement worked. That doesn't mean I am going to starve my family, but it was a good test to see if grocery shopping b/c we "normally do it on Sunday's" was more habit or necessity. I think it is mostly the latter, but in this particular case it might have been habit. Ultimately, I saved us $119 this week. Not too shabby.

By the way, here is what I ate for dinner this week:

Monday: turkey sandwich with pretzels
Tuesday: wasn't really hungry b/c I had a big lunch, so I made mac and cheese. had a few bites but saved the rest for the kids lunches
Wedneday: zucchini and corn quesadilla's (stuff we had from last week's menu but didn't use)
Thursday: didn't really eat - again big lunch. had some bread left over from lunch

Off the wagon but still going to the Cape.

I am going to make this short and sweet. I spent $300 on a new wireless router/external hard disk for our computers. It's called the Time Capsule and it is pretty cool. One could argue that is wasn't a must have purchase. I could have bought something similar for half the price. But the emotional angle that Apple hopes to tap into with their brand took over and I caved. At the end fo the day, I bought $300 worth of piece of mind knowing that we will never lose our photos/files again like we did a few years ago (we lost all pictures from Owen't first year of life b/c I didn't back up). So I figure that plus my need to buy something cool were put to bed. But I can't help but have some buyers remorse. Note: I did call Jen before I bought it to see if she was ok with it. We both agreed that while not completely necessary, it was ok to buy it.



In other news, we went to NYC last weekend to see the USOpen with the kids. We got 1/2 price tickets back in June so it was a great deal (this was before EMTTC). And we were able to stay at a friend's apartment for free (thanks J&D). What is not free is food and parking. Between all of those things (plus a few small things for the kids), we spent way too much. Upwards of $800. But our rationale was we bought the tickets and this would be the boys first time to see the USOpen and see (and remember) NYC. Jen did a great job keeping our spending to a minimum without diluting the experience. We did try to do as many things free as possible (Sony Technology Museum, Apple Store, Staten Island Ferry to see the Statue of Liberty). But as I stated, food and parking are not free and don't come cheap. Considering that the weekend easily could have cost $3000, I think we did great.



Lastly, we made our first deposit into our Cape Fund. It was only $200, but if felt really, really good. It was a very happy moment for us. It could have been $1000 had we not spent so much in NYC or decided to back up our computers, but this was not about giving up everything for 18 months. I can't wait to see how much we put away next month.

More free music

More new/free music from Vanity Fair - thanks Pete for the tip that new stuff was posted.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/culture/hot-tracks/

I'm loving the Black Kids song.

Month One – Ups and Downs

So I haven’t been writing much lately. We’ve been super busy with school starting this week, but I think it’s been more that I’ve just been feeling a little down about 18MTTC. While I felt we made some significant changes this month, as referenced in some of our other posts, the end result wasn’t as “big” as I expected. At the end of the day, we probably cut out between $600-$1000 from our typical monthly spending. As I write that, I realize that it’s pretty significant. What was I expecting? I don’t know but I think I know the source of my disappointment. Here’s the bottom line –

With our lifestyle, no matter how much we try to cut things out, we’re still going to be spending an above average amount of money on things each month. That’s just the way it is. Some things to us are just not expendable. For example, my hair. I get my hair highlighted about once every 8-10 weeks, so about 5-6 times a year. Each time, it’s between $150 to $200 (includes cut). Over the course of the year, $1,000 doesn’t seem that bad, but I just dread spending the nearly $200 each time. But at the same time, I’m not willing to give it up and go Clairol. So with 18MTTC on my mind, how can I feel good about dropping $200 for my hair? I can’t and that’s why I haven’t made my next appointment although desperately needing it – it’s root city right now.

So I decided to discuss my frustration/disappointment with Bryan. I guess I was also looking for some reassurance that he feels the same way and agrees that some things we just don’t want to change. He does share my thinking and also pointed out that over the last month, we had several out of the ordinary expenses come along:

• $350 to fix the Saab
• $170 for bridesmaid apparel

Without those two expenses, our savings would have looked even more impressive. All in all, he assured me (and I look to him for this because he is our family CFO and knows more about our spending patterns than I) that we’re doing well. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m also an instant gratification girl, so keeping my chin up will be challenging for me. I need the reassurance that I’m doing a good job, even as I continue to spend on things that I feel are necessary, but in the grand scheme of things (outside our little world) really aren’t.

This weekend, Bryan and I are going to sit down and take a good look at how we did in August. Identify some wins (ugh, that sounds so corporate) and see where we can continue to improve. Oh, and I’ve come up with a fun new rule...$100 a month per person (just Bryan and I, not Noah and Owen) for miscellaneous spending. Things like lunches out, a magazine here or there, ice coffees, maybe a new shirt, etc. We were finding ourselves feeling it necessary to divulge every $10 spent to each other, which is just ridiculous. So instead of trying to sneak my new scrapbooking magazine into the house, I don’t have to feel guilty, as long as I count it towards my $100 a month. This isn’t really extra spending, we were doing it anyway, but now there’s a bucket for it and a limit to it. I’ll try not to spend it all in one place ;-)

$2.04 of Happiness

I’m not a coffee drinker. At least that’s what I’ve been saying for the last 20 years of my life. But I think that I may no longer be able to make that claim. Lately, I’ve been craving an ice coffee in the morning. I don’t like it hot, just cold. And all I need is a small. I think that because I expose myself to so little caffeine, that when I do – after just a few sips – I really can feel the effects. I’m honestly a little happier and have a more positive outlook on my day. Songs I like on the radio sound better, I feel more eager to tackle problems, my kids seem perfect, etc. It’s kind of fun. A mini high. Is this what habitual coffee drinkers experience daily? Pretty cool – and totally worth the $2.04.

That's Hot!

I received our monthy electric bill yesterday. I was...surprised. Last month our electric bill was $320. A bit high considering we were on vacation for one of the weeks of that month. So I made it a point to try to be better at using the grill for cooking and turning off lights and stuff like that. But typically the increase in the summer months comes from the central A/C. So we made a concerted effort to use it sparingly when the summer first began. Well after the July bill (and with a little help from Mother Nature) we started keeping the windows open more often and used the small fan we have in our bedroom to keep us cool at night.

August electric bill -- $180

Savings - $140

Now "that's hot"!

Are bare feet part of the Saint James School uniform?

Noah is now a size 12.5 foot. For such a small kid he has big feet. My father would call them "gunboats" as he called mine (actually, he still calls them that). But I digress.

Noah needs a new pair of shoes. We were able to buy his pants from The Gap (they have a "uniform shop" for really cheap -- $15 a pair. And if last year is any indication of how they will wear throughout the year, 4 pairs will last until June without getting too ratty. As for ties and shirts, his ties still fit and we had to replace his shirts in April of last year because he got to big for them. So we are good in that department.

But, I digress again. Part of the school uniform is a nice proper pair of dress shoes (black or brown, but we think black looks nicer and quite frankly we only have a black belt to match them to). I looked online and in every store, but everything was over $40. Seemed like a lot to me normally, but now with EMTTC (that's "Eighteen months to the Cape" for those of you who like acronyms or watch DTWS - figure it out), I was determined to get a nice pair, cheap.

Macy's, Footlocker, The Childrens Place, Gap, Old Navy, Famous Footwear and Target all left me hanging. I even stepped inside Payless against my better judgement and found nothing. FYI - I didn't drive to all these places and waste gas, I was always already there for something else or it is in the mall across the street from MY office so I can walk. The nice lady in The Children's Place suggested JC Penny. Who? What? They still exist? They sell more than just old ladies undergarments and 1970's comforters?

Well, they do. And they have shoes. Lots of shoes. There was a cacaphony of shoes. A shoe bazaar or extravaganza if you will. In fact, they have shoes for:

88 Cents?

Well, not really. But check this out. They had 15 pairs of boys black dress shoes to choose from. And the quality was actually nice unlike the ones we paid way too much for last year and ripped halfway through the year.

So you buy 1 pair and get 1 pair for 88 cents. Two pairs for $30.88 - no tax. Considering the cheapest pair I could find was at Famous Footwear and was $35, I think I got a deal. And the best part is one pair are loafers, no tying required. (Noah can't tie his shoes yet - we are working on it).

So if you consider that two pairs would have cost $70, we saved 43%.

So I guess patience IS a virtue and hard work and determination DOES go rewarded. But I figured I learned three things today:

1. ignorance isn't always bliss
2. Payless still STINKS
3. JC Penny is cheap boys dress shoe heaven

Music - Part 2

Conversation 3 mintues ago over IM:

Jennifer: kooks are playing at lupos on Sunday the 14th. Tickets are $10. Want to ask Michelle and Chris to go?

Bryan: do they like them?

Jennifer: for $10 it's just a fun night out. they've got 3 weeks to listen to them

Jennifer: Michelle was saying she wanted to go to a concert

Bryan: 18 months to the cape. and we are going to the US Open and NYC. the kooks will be $10 plus dinner - each. I say no.

Jennifer: I'm going to see if she wants to go with just me and I'll tell her no dinner. Show is at 7pm. It's $10. I wanted to see them in Boston last June and tickets were $25. If you don't want to go that's fine, but I'm taking $25 and going if she wants to go

Bryan: ok, makes sense.

Compromise is key. I really don't care about the Kooks whatsoever. I could take them or leave them. But I know Jen really likes them - so I could tell there was a bit of "I'm doing this whether you like it or not" in her last post. And that is fine. But in my mind, I started thinking the following:

A night out typically means:
Tickets ($20)
babysitter ($40)
dinner and drinks ($120)
gas ($20)
some other extraneous expense like parking ($10).

So what $10 to see the Kooks ends up costing us is:

$210

Now the concert will only cost $25 and Jen still gets to see the concert with a friend. I think it works out very well. We just saw two concerts together, so I have my fill for the time being.

Money saved - $185.

Seeing the Kooks - Priceless

(Note from Jen: We both agree that the initiative is about cutting back, not cutting out entirely. I think that $25 is totally reasonable for a concert and a few drinks (bummer about the FEW part, but I'll deal) and I will note it as part of my small pool of discretionary spending for September. Maybe I'll give up something like Noah and Owen's lunch money to make up for it ;-) But I must also give Bryan props for recognizing that he wasn't really into it. So by cutting him, and a potential dinner, out, we saved ourselves $185 from what we would have normally done prior to the initiative. That's cutting back for ya. That's a savings of 88%. May not sound like a major sacrifice to most of you, but for us, it's curbing our old habits to make room for savings and debt elimination - and that's what this is all about folks. But I've got to have fun - and martinis - once in a while :-))

Music - Missing my iTunes

So before we started the "initiative" we had purchased tickets to two concerts - the Killers and Coldplay. Went to both shows a few weeks ago and haven't stopped listening to either band since. A good thing and a bad thing. I'm getting totally sick of these bands, but I'm also trying to curb my iTunes download habit in light of the initiative, so for that, it has been a good thing. Just yesterday as I was driving home, I was asking myself how many more times I could listen to the Viva la Vida Coldplay album. After seeing the concert, I love it so much more than I did prior to, but I don't want to wear it out. This morning, I remembered a recent email, from my friend Pete, about free tunes. I just checked it out and it is legit and a great little secret to get some new music free. Here's the info...

Hey- thought you might be interested in this. Vanity Fair started offering free mp3 on their site each month. One is that Ting Tings song Great DJ (which I know you have), but there a few from The Virgins who I've heard are supposed to be pretty good, and a few others.Enjoy! http://www.vanityfair.com/online/culture/hot-tracks/

This month they're offering 7 free songs from artists Adele, the Virgins, the Ting Tings, Tift Merritt, and Max and the Marginalized. My favorites after a quick listen are ‘Rich Girls’ by the Virgins and 'Private Affair' by the Virgins.

To save a copy of any of the songs as mp3s, right click the song link and choose 'save as.’ It’ll save into your music folder (or at least it did on my computer). If you go into the music folder and click on it, it’ll open it up in iTunes.

Give a listen, you might find something you like. These songs were posted the first week of August, so check back in early September to see if they’ve posted more.

New music – free. Saved = $7. Thanks Pete (and Vanity Fair, I guess).

Books, frugality and hunger

I spend tons on books. I love books. Books to read. Books to look at. Cook books. Craft books. I just love books. So this is clearly an area for me to curb my spending. Not working across the street from a big box bookstore will certainly help, but I do also love to see that box on my doorstep from Barnes & Noble. So the easiest solution to this problem is clearly not to give up books (my mother would be devastated) but to find other ways to get them - namely, the library.

I've always been a big proponent of using the library, but I'll admit that lazy often gets the better of me and I break down and buy it rather than go to the library to look for it. I'm also all about instant gratification, so often I'll buy a book just to have it, even though I may not get to reading it for months. This is tough with using the library because you've got a finite amount of time with each book - I want to hold it forever. You must choose wisely and manage your desire. My local library is also open kind of odd hours, so I used to use that as an excuse as well.

Well under the new plan, the library is my new best friend. I've figured out how to request books online, which makes the experience much more pleasurable. The boys have also been enjoying going to the library. They have more books in their room that they'll ever get to, but they must have caught that lust for 'new' books from me. So I've already logged a savings of like $30 by taking out two books that I wanted. Here's the story of one of them...

While health and wellness isn't really part of the 18 month Cape initiative, it's always a goal of mine that ebbs and flows. The past few months have packed on some pounds and I'm back in healthy eating mode. A co-worker recently turned me on to these daily "Hungry Girl" emails. Check her out if you haven't heard of her www.hungry-girl.com I love her - great practical tips on eating healthy - but EATING. So she also has a cook book. Well I enjoy her daily emails so much I really wanted to check out the cook book. Normally I would have run out to a store and bought it. I think it's like $15 (softcover). I decided to practice the 'plan' and get it from the library. My local library had it in stock - GREAT! So there's tons of stuff that I love in it and it's been sitting on my kitchen island for a few weeks now with pages marked off for recipes that I want to try. I've already renewed it once and it's due back on Monday. It's now or never - seize the day - make copies!!!

So I bring the book into work to make copies. After eating my lunch (that I brought to work, I'm such a good girl ;-) I head to the copy room to copy the recipes that I like - there were about 75 of them. Yeah, we're not talking 3 or 4. I was thinking that this will take me a while and as a result I've been putting it off. (I know you're thinking just buy the damn book!) Well it did take me a while, about 25 minutes. Luckily it wasn't a busy time for the copy room.

I had just about finished without being noticed when a guy from the "other side" of the floor, a fairly attractive guy (by work standards anyway) walks in and is using the printer right next to me. And he's lingering, so I'm forced to open the copier lid to reveal (horror of all horrors!) my boldly titled "Hungry Girl" cookbook. Yep, that's me. Hello fairly attractive man I've never really spoken to - I'm a HUNGRY girl. He definitely noticed it and I'm not sure if he actually chuckled to himself or if I just heard it happening in my head. I was caught in my moment of frugality (is that a word) and even worse, red-handed with the self-defining "Hungry Girl" cookbook. Lovely. I had to laugh.

The necessities...and a sense of humor

Email conversation this morning between my husband and I...
Jen: I really desperately need new bras. I know about the money. I have a gift card for TJMaxx from a return that we made that I think has $15 on it. I'm going to go to the one here in Boston today at lunch to see if I can find a few. They typically have good bra brands for not much money. I'm trying to be frugal but they are totally stretched out with no elastic in them.

Bryan: Ok. Why can't you just keep wearing the same one over and over and washing it at night?

Jen: The same one bra?

Bryan: Yes.

Jen: You're kidding right? Why can't you wear the same pair of underwear every day and just wash it at night?

Bryan: Who do you think you are talking to? Don't get lippy with me. You will wash it at night.

Jen: I can't tell if you're kidding or not. I'm not talking about spending a lot. I think I have like $15 on the card and maybe two bras there will cost me $20. So that's $5 it will cost us. Shoot me.

Bryan: Of course I am kidding. Do you really think I would tell you that you couldn't buy something that you actually need?

Jen: I don't know. You seemed serious. Why don't I pull out some of the drapes that we're not using and fashion some new clothes out of them?

Bryan: Hey, didn't you say yesterday that you were willing to make sacrifices? Think of the blog…what a great story it would be if you fashioned some new bras out of drapes.

Keeping our sense of humor is a necessity to get through the next 18 months. There are things we'll have to sacrifice, but not everything. Instead of heading to Nordstrom to buy designer bras for $55 each, TJ's is a sacrifice. If you've read some of my other posts and seen the note about my obsession with TJMaxx crap, I need to point out that in some cases, you can find good and cheaper alternatives at TJs. The key is to avoid filling a carriage with crap and just get out of there with the necessities you went in looking for. I'll do my best. (Editors note: Mission accomplised. I walked out with two bras and two very inexpensive pairs of underwear. Cost to us: $12.41.)

Rule #3 - Bills, bills, bills.

How boring is this topic? Who in their right mind likes talking about this? Cable, telephone, oil – oh my!

Well, not me…that’s for sure. However, if I am ever going to be able to use an outdoor shower virtually every summer Saturday, I am going to have to address it. And quite frankly, since this is a family effort, it allows me the chance to explain everything to wife in one place at one time. Remember, this is a learning experience for us all. (wife – refer to this post if I get hit by a truck.)

I do the bills. They stink. I can’t think of a bigger waste of time or is less exciting than this BI-MONTHLY "charge" down memory lane. But I must acknowledge the reality that a majority of our income goes to these monthly commitments to keep a roof over our heads, electricity to keep our lights on and cars to get us to work. So it is worth the time looking to see how we can cut costs.
So why bi-monthly? Because bills inevitably come in that are not anticipated but need prompt payment. I.e. school trips, car taxes, sewer bill. And of course the occasional traffic ticket.

I actually have a pretty good system though. I use online banking and bill pay like most normal human beings. (Don’t laugh – I know people who still write out checks for everything. Ever get stuck behind someone in line at the grocery store writing a check?) The system works pretty well. And all payments are guaranteed to arrive on time. At any point I can look up a check and see the front and back (in case wife takes a check and doesn’t tell me who it was written out to and for what amount…I love you honey).

I also use Microsoft Money to track my overall budget. It allows me to keep a list of monthly recurring expenses and serves as my check register. It is a good record keeping system and eliminates the need to balance my checkbook b/c I can enter or download my transactions from Bank of America into this program. (you can also get this program to schedule the payments in Bank of America bill pay, but that is just a little too automated for my comfort). Finally, it also allows me to forecast out in the future. But as wife mentioned earlier, we typically break even every month so forecasting out is usually futile.

Most of my normal bills are e-bills and are directly billed to my checking account or American Express card. There are many reasons I do this:

1. When I get a bill in the mail, I know I can just file it b/c it is already "paid". Remember I mentioned how much I hate doing this :-)
2. Save paper and stamps


3. Save time (no need to set up a payment in online bill payment)


4. Amex gives rewards points for every dollar spend so you can get cool stuff for free. (for me…travel and cooking stuff).


5. Ensures payments aren’t late.
   

Here is a list of eBills/Direct Bills to checking account/Amex:

1. Electric


2. Satellite (Direct TV)


3. Phone/Internet


4. Mobile Phone


5. Life Insurance (for both Jen and I)


6. Car Insurance


7. Security System


8. Blockbuster


9. Credit Card #1

Here is a list of bills I have to schedule payments for in online bill pay:

1. Mortgage


2. Car Payments (2)


3. School Tuition (again…2)


4. Oil/Gas


5. Student Loan (Quarterly)


6. Trash Pickup (Quarterly)


7. Water (Quarterly)


8. Gap/Banana Republic Credit Card (if there is a balance)


9. Other Credit Cards including Amex

Here is a list of bills that I pay by Check/Debit Card

1. Hospital/Doctor bills


2. Day Care


3. Weekly Offering at Church


4. Misc


5. Groceries

So why am I listing all of this out? Partially because maybe you are interested, but also because I need to get myself organized and figure out how to get rid of /reduce some of these costs. But first I want to submit that some things in life are just what they are. There is no point trying to pay off my mortgage or refinance it. We are at 5.75% fixed. Citimortgage couldn't blast me out if they tried. Phone/internet – we are already have a good deal. Trash – you literally can’t find pickup cheaper than $20 a month. Car insurance – no point in looking into it as we just had to file a claim (remember said ticket?).

But here are a few things I am going to look into over the next 60 days to see if I can shave a few dollars here and there:

1. Credit Card – see if I can find a cheap balance transfer rate until I pay them off in December.


2. Blockbuster- based upon our usage, is there a more efficient monthly plan for movies/games


3. Phone/Internet – doesn’t hurt to look again does it?


4. Satellite – is there a cheaper plan than what we have now?

Other things can be managed by our daily consumption. And overall we are pretty good, but since we are on a mission whose reward is the best possible prize, I plan on being more diligent.

Electricity – we are in summer now. But we have been really good about not using the AC all the time and using natural light when available. In the fall when the days are colder and shorter, school is in session and craziness ensues, we need to be more careful. Here are some ideas I have to save electricity:

• Install more compact fluorescent bulbs around the house. We have 88 recessed lights in our house. We could cut costs significantly by just replacing 15 of them in the closets alone.
• Reduce temp on water heater – I heard this can save a lot of energy
• Turn off computers at night. I know it is a pain to boot up, but having three computers running 24/7 is just plain silly.
• Unplug appliances we don’t use everyday that have a clock/display that is always on.
• Christmas – let’s not get to that yet. Wife will get upset.
• Charge mobile devices at work/in car
• Teach kids to be more energy conscious
• Run dishwasher only when full and use clothes dryer less (read: wear pajamas more than once)
• I also plan on reading more about all of these things here and below online. This is only a start.

Oil – we use very little in summer. But with oil prices so high, this is naturally the next place to look to conserve.

• Mid-winter I installed a programmable thermostat downstairs and it made a huge difference (even when wife complained it was cold and we turned it up higher). I am going to install one upstairs this fall.
• Turning down water heater
• Take shorter showers and use less hot water (washing machine, dishwasher, showers, tubbies, sinks, etc)

Groceries – wife mentioned this in better food choices/budgeting. But more often than not we don’t clip coupons, don’t scan the paper for "deals" and hardly ever use BJ’s anymore. I feel a little sense of excitement thinking about shopping at BJ’s again. And I love the thrill of finding a good deal at the grocery store. I know, I am a dork. But I enjoy cooking and given that we buy so much fresh food, we need to be better about planning it out. I have thrown away more lettuce than I care to think about this summer. Easily $50 worth. That is a lot of "green" that could have been used elsewhere. Here are some bullet points on this topic:

• Create weekly menu using "deals" in supermarket flyer. I actually enjoy doing this and don’t see it as work.
• Use BJ’s for key items like juice boxes, paper towels (which I have been using less of lately), peanut butter, yogurt, suppositories, etc. Basically staples. 9 out of 10 times their prices are better even when they are on sale at the grocery store.
• Consume less overall. What I mean here is only buy what we need. I like to cook – so having staple pantry items is critical for a busy family. But 4 boxes of oatmeal and is a bit on the excessive side unless you are having "trouble".
• Return ALL deposit items

So that is my diatribe. The first thing wife will say when she reads this is – "boy did you write a lot". To which my response will be "see how much opportunity there is to turn 18 months into 16 months? I am with you on this thing.". Yes a house at the Cape is a goal of mine – a very important one for me and my family. But I think now is as good a time as any to reevaluate our consumption patterns and figure out exactly what we NEED versus what we want. Our wallets may thank us for it now…but our kids, our planet and our souls will thank us for it later.

Loving the Cape

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

— Logan Pearsall Smith

I came across this quote today and I thought that it fits perfectly with this blog subject. Not only do we want the house on the Cape, I am quite sure we will enjoy it. It’s not a quest for us just to “have” one more thing. It’s truly a part of who we are and we believe it will seriously impact the enjoyment of our lives. Sounds lofty I know, but I truly believe it.

Since starting this 18 months to the Cape initiative, I’ve written little to explain to you my love affair with Cape Cod – why we want a little piece of it all to ourselves and how we’ll enjoy it. (I’ll allow Bryan to address with you some of his feelings on the Cape directly – this part is my story – the inception of my fascination with Cape Cod.)

From as far back as I can remember, my family vacationed on the Cape every summer. It was just a week – sometimes 10 days – but it felt like heaven. We’d rent a small cottage in Eastham from family friends. We typically went at the end of June, just shortly after school got out for the summer. There was something – and still is something – so magical about crossing the bridge and being officially “on the Cape.” As an adult, I can feel the stress of “real life” melting away and instantly feeling lighter – almost literally. It’s such a release. As a child, I obviously didn’t put that much thought into it, but I just remember it feeling so good, almost magical. Reflecting back on this as an adult, I imagine that what I was feeling was a result of that release that my parents were feeling as we crossed the bridge. They were letting go of their stress, eager to wiggle their toes in the sand, to stroll along the beach. Their letting go of stress translated to a more carefree attitude, which was what was so different and magical to us kids.

Those 10 days spent together in the cottage were wonderful. They weren’t perfect, there may have been an occasional raised voice as my brothers raised a little hell, but for the most part, everyone took it down a notch and was more relaxed. The Cape is exactly that, a place to relax. There aren’t any theme parks. Pirates Cover mini-golf is as close as you get. No crazy itineraries and wake-up calls. For us, it was all about enjoying the beach and quiet nights without the phone ringing. Every day of the week that weather permitted, we’d pack up the car and head down to the beach. We were in walking distance, maybe a half of a mile, to a beach, but we’d venture out to different beaches by car as well. We’d spend the whole day, from like 10am to 3pm or so at the beach - swimming, floating around, building sand castles, digging holes, taking a walk, beachcombing, reading a book or napping – some days all of it.

Some evenings it would be dinners out, other nights dinner at the cottage – our annual spaghetti and meatballs. Dinner was always followed by a walk on the beach and usually ice cream. Back at the cottage, with our buckets filled with seashells and other treasures from that night’s walk, it was listening to or watching baseball, playing board games and cards, and reading.

These are the most cherished memories of my childhood. I thank my parents immensely for giving us these experiences and planting the seed within me. These are the memories I want to pass on to my children. Surely we’ll develop our own traditions, and owning a home will allow us to “indulge” more frequently in the pleasures of the Cape. But at the same time, it will be our goal to maintain that magical feeling and always appreciate what a gift our time on the Cape is, whether it’s 10 days a year or 100.

Rule #2 Better spending on food

Food. Quite possibly our favorite category to spend money on. Going out to eat is tons of fun. Even grocery shopping is fun to me – all the possibilities. We're foodies and don't want to sacrifice, we just need to be smarter. Definitely room for improvement here. A couple of things I thought of:

• Bring lunch to work. This is a huge one. My job moved locations this week, from being next to tons of food options, to being next to nothing. So for the past 4 weeks, ok maybe 6 weeks, I’ve had the attitude that my ability to go out to lunch was soon coming to an end so I should take full advantage of it while I could. This resulted in me spending about $75+ a week on lunches. Add hubby’s lunches into the mix and the number just gets bigger. So a new rule is allow yourself one lunch “out” a week, bring lunch the other 4 days. This should save us about $75-$100 a week. Nothing to sneeze at.
• Eat out less in general. Hubby loves to cook, so cooking is not the problem, it’s more about being tired and just wanting someone to do it for us. Typically we will eat out at least once a week with the family and often once a weekend for a relatively “nice” dinner just the two of us or with friends. A family out to dinner or lunch will run us about $60-$75. Dinner out for just the two of us, with a few cocktails of course, is at least $100, but typically more like $150. I can’t decide what our hard and fast rule should be here regarding the number of times we eat out. Maybe it’s more of a budget number than a number of times out. If on average we spent $150 a week eating out, that’s $600 a month. Let’s cut that in half, and include our lunches out in the $300. So that’s a total eating out budget of $300 a month. So if we eat out two “nice” dinners to the tune of $150 each, we’re done for the month. I think we can do this. Even this past weekend, we didn’t eat out once which was unusual for us, but everyone survived it.
• Make a grocery list. We’re on and off good about this. To make a grocery list, it is paramount that you first make a menu for the week. We love doing this, we just need to be more consistent. Check pantry before going to the grocery store to avoid 4 very good boxes of oatmeal in on the shelf (hubby demonstrated this by pulling out these boxes this weekend and piling them up on the kitchen floor for me – great visual). Stick to the list and resist impluse buying.

Last night I was home alone with the boys. We had a few errands to run and as we were heading home at 7:30pm, with rumbly tummies, I was dying to stop for a pizza. But I didn't. I took this as the first opportunity to practice my new "rules" and went home and ate something that was in our fridge. Cape Cod here we come ;-)

Rule #1 Set a monthly spending limit for all things "fun".

Ok, so we're going to cut back on spending, pay off debt and save. Great. Done.

Not exactly...

Like anything, there's got to be some rules to this. Husband and I need to discuss, but here's what I'm proposing in terms of some changes we can make. I'm going to tackle one at a time as I think it's important to understand where we are today, how we got here and what steps we can make to realize results.

Rule #1 Set a montly spending limit for all things "fun".

We're bringing in a good amount of money (we're not making chump change as husband likes to say), more than enough to live comfortably on, but at the end of the month, there's little left. This is because we don't limit our spending. Sounds totally stupid right, but after so many years of scraping by through college (I guess it was only really beer money we needed, but there never seemed to be enough), and then making really low salaries at our first few jobs, it feels good to now have money and not have to worry where every dollar is spent. So we've been fairly free with the cash. All good things must end. It's time to become more responsible adults. Don't get me wrong - we pay all of our bills, contribute to our 401ks, donate to charity, etc. - it's just the savings that suffer.

For the next 18 months, I want to dramatically cut down on "fun" spending. Set a monthly limit and stick to it. This "fun" category of spending is just that - spending on anything fun, i.e. clothes, books, house stuff, entertainment, dinners out, vacations. Anything you enjoy spending money on, i.e. everything but bills.

Areas for change:

My spending at the mall. I currently work across the street from a great mall. I literally park in the mall daily, which means that I'm guaranteed to be within the walls of the mall at least twice a day. Dangerous. Very dangerous. I am not a crazy shopper by any means. I know women who are much, much worse than me. But, I'll admit I can make changes. Mostly I can change my boredom spending, which is, "I'm here, I must need something." One big help is that my job is moving to a new location, hence, less frequent access to the mall. Out of sight, out of mind - I hope.

Challenge each purchase. I've gone through this exercise before and it worked remarkably well. Before I spend more than $2 on anything, I stop myself and require myself to self-discuss whether or not this is something I really need. How will my life be different with or without it? I've been able to stop myself from lots of unnecessary purchases by engaging in this little exercise.

Quality purchases, not quantity. No, or limited, trips to TJMaxx. I seem to have this mentality that if the item doesn't cost a lot, I can buy more of them. So I get into a vicious cycle of buying crap that needs to be replaced instead of good stuff that will last. Don't get me wrong, I love TJMaxx, but you have to be discerning, and lucky, to get good stuf there.

Joint decision making. We are actually better at this than most married people that I know. Neither of us will ever really spend more than $100 without first consulting the other. Under the new "regime", we're going to take it a step further and literally plan, on a monthly basis, how we're going to spend our "fun" money. For example, before something goes on the calendar, like a dinner out or theatre tickets, we both have to agree that this is going to be one of the things that we'll spend money on this month. We can also kind of slot in when we see ourselves as having some set "fun" expenses. School clothes in August. Anniversary night out in November. That kind of stuff.

I'm anxious to get started on all of this, and am definitely implementing some of these suggestions already, but I want to use the next week to get all of our guidelines/rules set-up and really begin on our plan on August 1.

Getting started

So the other night, as we were eating dinner on our deck, I said to my husband, "Let's try something different. I want to set a goal. I want to accomplish something." That was my opener on the subject of the vacation home. It's been a dream of ours since before we were even married, just barely into our 20's, to own a home on Cape Cod. When you're young, anything seems possible - and it should be. But life gets in the way - low paying jobs out of college, the costs of city living, student loans, buying your first car, taking vacations we couldn't totally afford. All these things added up to living slightly beyond our means, which means, no savings. Luckily we were able to buy our first home with the help of our parents. And because of a great profit on our the sale of our first home, we were able to build our pefect house. We plan to stay in it, God-willing for many years to come.

We work hard and we've been lucky. But we've realized that its going to take more than luck to accomplish, what I like to say is "the only other thing I really want in life" - the purchase of a vacation home. So I think I've come up with a plan. I said to my husband, "this is it, we're going all out - balls to the wall (excuse my crassness) - cutting back our spending and getting that house in the next 18 months." He agreed. Actually what he said is that he'd have no problem sticking to a plan like that, I'd be the problem. In my defense, this truly is the thing that I want most, so if I can't make sacrifices to get it, I'm going to be really disappointed in myself. We're going to do it.

I think that the process will be interesting. I'm hoping that we learn a lot and I'm hoping that the end result is a positive one. I've been feeling the desire to write about something lately, and this "journey" seems like a ripe subject. So here it goes. Welcome aboard.